bubblelife.blogspot.com
rexburglife.blogspot.com
bubblebobble.blogspot.com
lifeinthebubble.blogspot.com
rexburg.blogspot.com
lifeinrexburg.blogspot.com
thebubblelife.blogspot.com
livinginthebubble.blogspot.com
The amazing thing is that most of those blogs are the same thing that I wanted to try doing! They're blogs by people living in Rexburg and writing about their "kooky" experiences here. The other thing you'll notice from visiting them is that most of those guys didn't get past one or two entries!
At first I thought they were just slackers, but now I understand what they were going through. This place really just sucks the creative energy out of you sometimes. I think it's because it's just so overwhelming and after a few weeks you no longer have any sort of connection with reality anymore. Like I have this article here from The Scroll, which is BYU-Idaho's student newspaper... It's so ridiculous and laughably stupid... I've been meaning to write about it, but what the hell is the point anymore? It's like I could say, "Hey! What a stupid article this is..." But who would even care? I feel like I'm pointing out two or three oddly shaped blades of grass while standing in a vast field hundreds of acres wide in the middle of nowhere. Where to even begin?
My first entry tried to point out the insanity of the physical appearances of the women here, and now I've almost grown numb to that, too. They still look hideous to me, but when the hideousness is all around you all the time, how can you even distinguish it from anything else anymore?
***
Okay.
I'm not giving up, though. I'll tell you a little about my job. That's a nice place to start.
Some of the public schools in Eastern Idaho make Great Falls, Montana look positively metropolitan by comparison.
When I was offered a teaching job interview in Great Falls several years ago, I showed up to the interview wearing a full suit and tie, shined shoes, everything. I had my resume and other documents with me. I was told beforehand that I was supposed to prepare a short English lesson to present to my interviewers which would include the school's principal and vice-principal, the head of the English department, and one or two other teachers. This would take place in the school library where I would have access to a white board and a table and stuff. I was a nervous wreck, but it all went well and I was offered a teaching job.
Here in Idaho, I got a call to show up for an interview at district building in St. Anthony, which is a small village about 15 miles away from Rexburg. I showed up at the building, again dressed in my suit and tie. The secretary had no idea who I was, and told me to go to the back to look for my interviewer. I went to the back of the building and found a large empty office area. I wandered around, knocking on doors and opening them. They were mostly empty and dark. I eventually found another person wandering around the building. I believe she was the lady in charge of driving the school bus. I asked her if she knew my interviewer. I don't think she did, but she helped me look for him.
Eventually we found a man and a woman sitting in a room looking over some files. I introduced myself and was told to go into the other room and have a seat.
They must have been in the process of moving or something, because other than a few stains on the carpet the room was totally empty. No chairs. "I'll just stand," I said amiably.
"Oh wait, there's no chair in there, huh?" The guy said. He shot up and bolted out of the room, urging me to follow him. We went from room to room in the little office, looking for a chair for me to sit in. Finally we found a small empty room piled up with old cardboard boxes. There was a metal folding chair inside. He flicked the fluorescent light on and told me to have a seat; they were almost ready for me.
So I sat down, wondering if I had come to the wrong place. The chair was facing a wall, so I decided to turn it around and face it out of the doorway and into the dark hall. After an unknown amount of time had passed, I heard the sounds of people talking down in the distance. I instinctively knew that they had forgotten about me in the dark, empty room. I started to speak up. I poked my head out the doorway and said, "Hello?"
"Oh shoot, that guy!" I heard the man say to his co-worker.
They ushered me into their little office and had me sit down. The man was dressed in cut off jean shorts and a polo with some grease stains on it. The woman had on jeans and a t-shirt. I felt awkward wearing a full suit, but I'd always been told that it's better to overdress for an interview.
I sat down and they started asking questions. The man was mostly incoherent to me as he had the ability to somehow sound as if he was tweaking on meth while stuttering at the same time. He had a vaguely Canadian/Mexican accent, which didn't help. The woman remained silent, only looking at me knowingly from time to time.
At one point the man asked me, "Hey man, s-s-o what what what is your teaching philoso-ph-ph-phyy and stuff? You know, dude? Like how you gonna teach 'em k-ki-k-kids?"
I started to give my answer when he stood up and walked towards me slowly. He had his hand facing me palm-up, as if in the "stop" motion, so I trailed off. He was looking at something that was apparently behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and slammed his foot down on the carpet.
"Sorry bra! It was a hobo! I hate them hobos... Had to kill the hobo... Kill it."
A hobo, for those of you who don't know, is a type of a spider that apparently lives in Idaho. I've only ever heard of it while in Rexburg, and everyone in Rexburg knows about them. I've seen commercials on TV advertising their extermination and ads on billboards about them. I don't know if it's just an Idaho thing or what, because I've never heard of seen anything about hobo spiders anywhere else in the U.S. In college I remember people saying how they were deadly poisonous, although I've never known or heard of anyone ever being bit by one, let alone dying from it.
I just Googled "hobo spider" to confirm whether or not they even exist, and apparently they do. I even found this web site all about them, actually: http://www.onewest.net/~dkv/hobospider/
The web site had this baffling first line at the top of the page:
Well known spider expert Darwin Vest has been missing since June 1999. This website is now maintained by
So I clicked there and wouldn't you know it, the oddly named expert on hobo spiders Darwin Vest was from Idaho Falls, Idaho.
See what I'm talking about? This place is obsessed with "hobos."
Ugh... Why does the name "hobo spider" bug the crap out of me? I don't know, but it does.
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